When it comes to cleaning her room… that’s always been a task. I used to become frustrated when she would absolutely refuse to clean it, simply crying because I had asked her to do it to begin with. It wasn’t until I learned that there is a name for my own obstinance that I realized that it wasn’t just that she is so much like me, but also that she has her own separate needs that need to be addressed in these situations.

The absurd clumsiness of my life and the revelation that it is all part of a whole. From walking into things to falling down things plus everything in between. It’s all a matter of spatial awareness and I have none of that! lol

The problem is Pathological Demand Avoidance or PDA. It’s the response of fight, flight or freeze when confronted with demands that challenge independence, which leads to a heightened emotional response. It's a tendency to avoid demands even when the person wants to do them any other time.

I am going to try to break down and explain the effect of the same thing over and over in a way that I’m hoping everyone can understand. There are so many different facets that go into autistic overload that I will only be brushing the surface, but hopefully it will be enough to be effective

Unfortunately for those diagnosed with Asperger’s before the 2000’s, we can pretty much all agree that unless you have parents who accepted and understood you, you were the problem child in your home. And I’m not talking about that movie with the blonde kid that just popped into my mind, I’m talking about anxious feeling you get when you feel unwanted and misunderstood.

Looking back at a few of the signs that screamed ‘different!’ Communication is not only verbal.

So, there are things I do my absolute best not to do when it comes to my daughter. One of them in particular is tell her that we will absolutely do something within a certain timeframe when there are too many variables that may intervene in the activity. Today I was given the perfect example of WHY I am so careful with my words.

What the other person doesn’t know though is that if communication is open, it allows points of view and needs to be shared as well as the feelings behind the actions taken. Deceit is the threat here, not the action or reaction of either party.

The antics of a 9 year old girl on the spectrum and an Aspies mom

It’s those of us who have been either trained or been in a long-term relationship where we have learned to expect the worst from people that I am aiming this at as well as those who are raising a child on the spectrum. We perceive the world differently and don’t always have the ‘street smarts’ others have that will tell us that something is off with someone’s behavior until it’s too late. If we learn what real acceptance is and feels like to us, we know what we are looking for, otherwise, we are just continuing the cycle without even realizing we are doing it.