The cursed word ‘maybe’

So, there are things I do my absolute best not to do when it comes to my daughter. One of them in particular is tell her that we will absolutely do something within a certain timeframe when there are too many variables that may intervene in the activity. Today I was given the perfect example of WHY I am so careful with my words. She came up to me last night right before bed and was insistent that we make gummy worms (we make our own, the process takes a few hours, and it has been almost a hundred degrees outside this week).

Knowing that I have a lot going on (catching up on all the things that go to the wayside during the busy times of year driving motorcoach). My response to this as per the usual was, “Maybe we can make them tomorrow.” My husband confirmed this (I asked him to make sure that I wasn’t misremembering as he was there when I said maybe). This was the conversation as I was sitting in my chair updating my website content.

 ** Perfect timing by the way lol **

Daughter “Are you a liar, Mama?”

Mama “I do my best not to be.”

Daughter “But are you a liar?”

Mama “Not as far as I am aware of.”

Daughter “Then we need to go make gummy worms right now.”

Mama “I did not say that we will make them today, I said maybe.”

Daughter “I heard that you said we will.”

Mama “I specifically said maybe, since I did not know if we have the ingredients, or the time that it will take to make the gummy worms.”

Daughter “Maybe is not an answer I can accept so it means yes to me.”

Mama “That does not make me a liar, that makes me a mom who needs to change her vocabulary to something you will interpret correctly or teach you the meaning.”

Daughter “So you want to find another way to say maybe?”

Mama “I will have to since you will interpret the word as a yes.”

Daughter “But it will still mean maybe.”

Mama “The world uses the word maybe and that will never change.” Are you willing to adjust your acceptance of the word?”

Daughter “Not today, but I will try.”

Mama “Remember how you asked to drive the lawn mower, and I said it will have to be after I get the lawn finished and then the lawn mower overheated?”

Daughter “Yes. That was yesterday.”

Mama “You were upset because you couldn’t drive the lawn mower.”

Daughter “But you finished the lawn today and I got to drive the lawn mower.”

Mama “That is why I don’t say we can do something at a set time and why I use the word maybe. I told you that after I finished my task with the mower, you could drive it.”

Daughter “But I did get to drive the lawn mower.”

Mama “But it wasn’t yesterday. It was today.”

Daughter “I was still upset because I couldn’t do it yesterday.”

Mama “But it wasn’t a lie. You did get to drive the lawn mower when I was done mowing the lawn. It just didn’t happen when you wanted it to.”

Daughter “So maybe doesn’t mean yes or no. It means it could be possible if everything lines up?”

Mama “Exactly.”

Daughter “I still don’t like the word maybe.”

Mama “It’s a word and it has a use.”

Daughter “Fine.”

Mama “Do you want to know the definition of fine too?”

Daughter “No.” she walks away shaking her head while muttering to herself about words being annoying.

Mama goes back to editing the website and posting this!

I do my best to work with her in the different ways she sees the world, however because I also share the oddities that come with communication, its much easier for me to reminisce on all the times I was told maybe as a child and how absolutely irritated I would get. It wasn’t until I got a dictionary that I learned the nuances that come with different words.